Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The calm before the April storm

I've wavered for some time between two KB sport meets scheduled in April. The Punch Kettlebell Sport Championship in Sarasota, FL is one of three southeastern region meets this year. I know a number of the people, and this region needs the activity. The LongCycle on Long Island Kettlebell Competition is devoted entirely to my event and has a set of lifters I've never met before. Honestly, it was coming down to money and leaning northward, as it costs less to get to and around Long Island as it does Sarasota. Then Scott happened. Let the good-humored celebrity roasting begin.

Ed note: all photos save the first screenshot from Punch Gym Sarasota are publicly visible on Facebook at the discretion of their owners.

On March 09, Punch Sarasota revealed a conversation that had been proxied between myself and my former coach, Scott Shetler of Extreme Performance Training Systems outside Atlanta. Scott and I go back a few years with a part-time coaching relationship. I never had a regular gym membership or full-time trainer until very recently, but Scott contributed greatly toward getting me from pure novice to competing athlete. All due respect. He fixed things in my snatch motion that multiple other trainers had missed entirely, and I got all the way to double 20kg long cycle under his watchful eye. With that said, this unfolded recently.

To summarize, Scott presumes to complete my training with a master-to-student smackdown on the platform in Florida before a cloud of cheering witnesses. Apparently while my weight class is not "manly", a certified WKC Master Trainer doesn't need to lift the 24kg bells common to high school seniors in Russia to be "manly", as long as he's big. Scott hasn't competed with bells in about two years, and there's no record online of him training bells anywhere but in front of the TV cameras at Tapout. That single bell was 16kg, and Scott was, well, it was not exactly a fair fight.

Ed note: By the way, kudos on the ~30lb weight loss since this photo! You look great, and raw vegan living has done wonders for you. This is still the last picture of you holding a bell...

In preparation for what will one day spawn a dramatic miniseries on HBO, my Facebook timeline records a weekly heartbeat of of squats, cardio, and kettlebell training, all checked in from Elite Fitness gym. It might be joked that I spend my gym time on Facebook (all 2 min of it), but the fact remains that I am in the gym and training the sport. Scott has, meanwhile, posted pictures of cars, vegan food, and his very own LOLcat on March 09, the day that initial Facebook thread started. Apparently, "i can haz trophy".

Either he's supremely (over)confident, or he's learned to levitate bells with his brain and is training in this very photo, in which case I should be terrified and wear a helmet to Florida. Henceforth and for lack of a cat, I'll be lifting bells and building cardio in the old-fashioned way at the gym. Best of luck, Sensei and whom I can best assume is "Fluffy" or "Zazzles" or some such. Best of luck.

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